I've learned tips to help me on treatment days (spearmint gum masks the yucky taste of Heparin really well), I've learned to sleep when I am tired, chemo-brain is a real thing, and I've also learned that I'm not very patient with myself.
As part of our Sunday morning church service, we've been re-watching talks from our church's general conference this past April. A few weeks ago we were watching this talk by Sister Joy B. Jones, and I was feeling a little irritated with my limitations. I sat there feeling sorry for myself, but also wondering what more I could do... and then how would I even do it. Sister Jones made the following statement, and it just pierced me through...
"Women wear many hats, but it is impossible, and unnecessary, to wear them all at once. The Spirit helps us determine which work to focus on today."
Heavenly Father is perfectly aware of what I am going through. He knows my limitations, and He knows what I am capable of doing right now. There are days I can do very little, but there are days where I can do more, so I determined to make it a habit to ask Heavenly Father what I can focus on each day. I've also decided that when I get a thought to do something for someone else, I need to act on that. David A. Bednar once said, "If you have a thought to do something good, it's prompted by the Holy Ghost." Those often quiet thoughts we have that seem so random sometimes are Heavenly Father directing us to do good and help others.
I've had so many people ask me what they can do to help me. I'm not one to ask for help, to be honest. I also have a house full of adults living with me right now who can all take care of the physical demands we have. What I have found that I really need is the encouragement that comes from others - someone just letting me know they are thinking of me and/or sending me a thought that uplifts me. While that's not really something I'm going to tell someone I need at any specific moment, I've been so blessed to receive those just when I need them the most! I get a card in the mail, a text or private message, or even someone dropping something off at my door. You all are showing me how to do just what I said I want to do - act on thoughts, impressions, or feelings to do something for others.
I've had times in my life (probably more than I'd like to admit), when I've had those thoughts to do something, but for various reasons I don't follow through - sometimes I honestly just forget, or I tell myself that the person I've thought of really doesn't need anything from me. I'm hoping that this can be one of the biggest lessons that I learn through cancer - follow that prompting and reach out to others. Heavenly Father often uses us to answer another's prayer. He's relying on us, and those who are asking Him for help are as well.
